Episode 32: Feeling Loved

Hi everyone, I hope you’re doing as well as you can be today. This week’s poem and episode explore the moment we recognize that someone loves us, whether this is a family member, partner, friend, etc. So often we emphasize the feeling of ‘falling in love’ or loving someone else, without noting the feeling, honour, and privilege of being loved. As it relates to mental health, moments like these have power among deeply entangled struggles with body image, self-worth/esteem, anxiety, and depression, for example. And although knowing we’re loved is necessary but not sufficient, being able to confidently identify someone who loves us is a key piece of any healing journey. 

I’ll share it with you now:

When it finally washed my body

I wasn’t sure what it was

because what else would you call

loneliness’s water breaking?

I didn’t realize I was looking

for light in a birth canal.

Before the baby

there was rinse water—

a house bursting & 

free, flowing fast & forward—  

as there usually is

but this mother was lonely

and this baby was love 

and I wasn’t quite ready 

to catch them; lonely myself

before I’d birthed much of anything.

Only soaked, 

I broke. 

And I hold this small body

now, with many of everything— 

eyes, hearts, and ears 

of friends, family, and fears

and tears across

young decades of years.

My first time feeling

alive, if for a moment in time,

was because this baby breathed

with what was inside me:

the honour & privilege

of looking at someone

& being able to say

that which rips our breath away

without it being a question:

my stars, you love me.

Breathe the words in. What do they make you feel or think? How did they connect with your senses? What colours or symbols did you notice? What meaning did you draw? Metaphors? Interpretations? Clarity? Messages?